January 17, 2012
You are invited
My nephew Ryan, who is the greatest little boy in the whole world, is having his
Bar Mitzvah in November. My sister-in-law has been sharing with me some issues she has been having with people. People who have zero manners. ..
First let me say if your child is not included on the invitation, guess what? They weren't invited. What ever you need to do to deal with that you need to do but no matter what people, and I mean no matter what, do not call the invitee and ask to bring your children, your aunt Mary or your friend's child who is staying for the weekend, Capisci?
I don't care if it's your best friend and you are so hurt, If you are or your kids are not invited to something that perhaps you think you should be, too bad. Deal with it privately, go to therapy, complain to your husband that you are so hurt, call the national guard for all I care but do not under any circumstances call the invitees and confront them about anything you feel about not being invited or your kids not being invited or only one of your kids being invited or that you don't have a babysitter and you want to bring them or that you invited them and therefore you feel your kids should be invited. All of that may be well and good but the fact still remains that this isn't your party, and it's never ever good manners to express your opinion about who wasn't invited. It's really none of your business and it's really very tacky so listen to me and swallow the hurt and move on, please.
And let me also say that it's not a mistake, don't call because as much as it may be impossible for you to grasp how they could leave out your precious perfectly mannered child, if they haven't put there name on the invite, THEY ARE NOT INVITED.
It's not your place to find out why they excluded your kids because they have there own good reasons why, they've obviously given this some careful thought and it's none of your business, they owe you nothing and they need not explain. Capisci x 2?
If you do decide that you can't help but open your mouth and express your opinion you undoubtedly will regret it and you will most definetely end up feeling oh so stupid and we don't want that correct? It's better to shut your mouth pretty much all the time vs being honest and open in most cases in life. Trust me when I've been honest about being hurt because of exclusion vs keeping my big mouth shut, I always seem to feel so much happier and more in control when I keep my hurtness to myself.
When you allow that urge to overcome your better judgement, you will always end up feeling like a lunatic. It is a very strong urge, I know but don't under any circumstances, ever give into the need to tell someone how you feel about something that needs no airing.
The reality is as much as it sucks some times to be left out or your kid is left out, if the invitee wanted you or your child there, your names would be on the invitation.
So listen to me because I know what I'm talking about. I've beem on both sides of this conundrum and I always fare much better when my big mouth remains closed.